I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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