I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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