Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I looked at my own cervix.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
