Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize