weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
