even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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