I need help removing her.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well I just put wine in my tea
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
