i think my mom watched the whole time
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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