i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
