So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize