dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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