You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
