His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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