i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can't turn off my feet"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize