i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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