I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
