Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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