He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
All I want is dick and wine.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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