No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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