i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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