if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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