I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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