the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
