I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
