You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
