Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
