I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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