There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
