# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize