How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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