Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
