I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
