I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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