i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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