dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
