I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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