I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
