all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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