I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
