they need to just BURY HIM!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
