I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
