Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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