too bad you live with your parents still
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize