Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
