Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
