i jhust puked up my retainher.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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