Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
