Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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