She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
