I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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