I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
