We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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