They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Randomize
