yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
