who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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