I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They took my balls.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
don't judge my taste in strippers
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
