I accidentally burped into my bong.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
