you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
