wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
