You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
